


what can i do if the fire goes out

by dearwormwood



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Canon Compliant, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Hospitals, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Post-Canon, Post-Season/Series 07
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-14
Updated: 2018-08-14
Packaged: 2019-06-27 08:08:20
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,175
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15681414
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dearwormwood/pseuds/dearwormwood
Summary: do i throw my clothes in the fire? do i throw my hopes in the fire?what can i do when the fire goes out? cause i don't know if i can live withoutKeith and Lance find solace in the aftermath of it all.





	what can i do if the fire goes out

 

It was quiet in the hospital now, visiting hours over. Lance shifted uncomfortably in the bed, flicking lazily through the channels. His family had left an hour or two ago, and he missed them a lot. Not as much as they missed him, he supposed, considering he’d been gone four years to them and only a year to him (that left some kind of hollow ache inside his chest).

All of the channels were a replay of Shiro’s speech, with a few of them just being more news about liberation across Earth. Which was good, but right now Lance didn’t want to think about stuff like that. He wanted to watch shitty sit-coms and bad romance television shows, just to feel home again, but he didn't know what that felt like anymore. God, was his home even still there? Did it make it through the destruction? He couldn't- he couldn't bear losing his home twice.

Lance pulled his knees up to his chest, needing some kind of comfort to abate the hollowness forming, swirling, in his chest. He didn't even know which home he missed more now. He's known nothing but war and death and fighting for so long, how was he supposed to go back to normal?

Angry at himself, at the television, at the hospital and at the universe, Lance pressed the power button on the remote. The room went quiet now, except for the steady beeping of his vital machines. He hated that noise. He wished he was back in the Castle of the Lions, where the healing pod would just fix him right up. None of this- this waiting. Lance was so stupidly fucking conflicted, emotions torn apart inside him. He was home. On Earth. After so many months, after so many tears. And he couldn't help but miss the Castle. 

No one told him it would be this hard to come home. No one said it would hurt this much.

Tears welled in his eyes, and he didn't know if was from frustration or sadness. A shaky breath caught in his throat, and he almost let it form into a sob, until someone knocked on his hospital room door.

Sucking in sharply, he wiped his tears hurriedly, before calling to let whoever it was in. Perhaps it was Hunk. Or a nurse. Maybe even Shiro.

He didn't expect Keith to peer through the door, thick eyebrows pinched in some kind of conflicted emotion. He still had the bandage wrapped around his head.

"Should you be out of bed?" Lance blurted, and instantly regretted it. Why couldn't he keep his mouth shut around Keith? Keith just smirked though, and shuffled in, pressing his back against the door to close it.

"Probably not. How are you feeling?" Maybe Keith was just doing the rounds. Taking his role as leader seriously. "You got roughed up pretty bad before everything with Sendak even started, didn't you?" Lance's memory flickered to the jeep flipping, the explosions and gunshots, and the desperate crack in Keith's voice as he called for Lance.

"I'm feeling just peachy. Nothing like being used as the universe's punching bag to brighten your mood," Lance mumbled, rather darkly, and Keith frowned deeply. Oops. "'m fine. Really. How is everyone else going?" If Lance remembered correctly, his room was the furthest from Keith's. He must've checked on the others before him.

Instead, Keith just shrugged, a carefully neutral expression over his face.

"Don't know. I came to see you first." Lance's heart, his stupid, flighty and feeble heart fluttered at that. Like a canary in a cage. Lance didn't let Keith see his reaction though, and just leant back onto his pillows, stretching his legs out.

"How are you? You can- you can sit you know." Lance gestured to the armchair in the corner of the room as he spoke. As if Keith didn't know how to sit. Or where the chair was. Perhaps he didn't plan to stay long enough to sit down.

Keith sat, and it looked like he almost crumpled into the chair. Oh. Oh. The expression taking over Keith's face was something Lance was all too familiar with. The exhaustion, the sadness, the relief.

"I've been better," Keith whispered, as brittle as a bird. Silence thickened between them, Lance quietly watching Keith. He seemed so tired now that Lance could properly look at his face. Slowly, Keith kneeled forward, catching his head in the palms of his hands. "I've been a lot worse too, I suppose." Keith's voice cracked. Lance could sympathise with him for a moment. The guilt at feeling bad in good times, when he'd been through so much. Am I ungrateful?

Lance opened his mouth to talk, to say some kind of useless words to attempt to comfort Keith. He got interrupted first though, by Keith raising his head to stare at the wall across the room.

"I was so scared, Lance. I was so fucking scared the whole time. I thought- I thought we were going to die," Keith all but sobbed out, and Lance could only sit and watch as Keith's hands started to shake. Lance wanted to hold them, told him but we lived. But that was kind of hypocritical, considering Lance had felt the same thing so much. "When I woke I- I thought for sure there was no way we all survived. But we did. We did." Lance sat up again, scooting closer to where Keith was. His heart ached, because he wanted to help Keith. "So why do I still f-feel so terrified?" Keith turned to look at Lance now, and he could see the raw fear in his violet eyes now. You can't help someone out of the same hole you're in.

"I-I-" Lance scrambled for words, and Keith was so desperate and what was Lance supposed to say? "T-They don't tell you this, do they? That r-returning home, being okay, is so hard. " Keith's shoulders sagged, and Lance knew he hadn't been able to comfort him. Lance's memory flicked back to that stupid game show they'd been trapped on, and the cutting feeling of being referred to as the dumb one. "All they say is that it's over and you're okay. Not that you almost weren't and that you-you're going to remember it all every night. It makes you feel- not worthy of being home." Lance's own voice wavered now, and he went to say more before Keith leapt at him, arms wrapping tight around Lance's (still sore) shoulders.

Lance didn’t say anything more now, and wrapped his arms around Keith as well. It was all well and fucking fantastic to hug his family after so long, but there was something different about hugging someone who had been through the same thing as you. The same gut-wrenching horrors and pain. Those hugs are tighter. Warmer. More memorable.

"You won't forget this one, will you?" Keith whispered against Lance's ear, a quiet breath, and Lance felt mirth bubble through him, as he chuckled into Keith's shoulder.

"No, I won't."

**Author's Note:**

> thank youuuu for reading!! i had a lot of feelings bout this season and decided to throw this short thing together. please leave kudos & comments! i might write some more to this depending if i get time, thanks again!
> 
> title is from 'What Can I Do if the Fire Goes Out' by Gang of Youths.


End file.
